Dec. 1st

I found this "recipe" saved in one of my email folders from years ago... I think it's a great way to kick off the holiday season, if you know what I mean!

Christmas Cake Ingredients:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
1 bottle Jose Quervo Tequila
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the Quervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Quervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Quervo is still OK. Try another cup ... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Quervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a shit. Check the Jose Quervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the Jose Quervo and kick the cat. CHERRY MISTMAS!